Just when I thought my heart was full, we are blessed yet again with another one to love.
God is so good.
I went back and forth with how to announce this pregnancy. There are so many of you who are still waiting, wishing, praying for your baby. And here I am, about to welcome a third into this world. Is this fair? Am I being greedy? Perhaps I should keep this pregnancy under wraps. But I decided while this post may sting, there’s also a chance it may be a ray of hope. I went from being told I may never have a baby, to now expecting my third baby. So if nothing else dear friends, please hold on to that. I remember how much I looked to infertility warriors who had big families…moms whose shoes I thought I may never be in. But they were my inspiration. They truly kept me going. Maybe I can remind you to do the same. Please know that I will never ever forget what I went through and the feelings involved. So I will continue to advocate for you and support all of you. Always.
There are so many things I have to say about this pregnancy which I‘ll share over the next few months but I‘ll start with how we got here!
We did IVF again (and if you’re new around here you can jump back to the beginning of my infertility/IVF adventure with the twins a few years ago in this post)! This time around the process was simpler. I genuinely felt (and feel) so grateful for my two healthy kids, so while I desired a third, I knew I would be happy with my beautiful family as it is if that’s what God intended. I never took a pregnancy test, and while this seems so minor it was a huge thing for me as my 24 failed tests the last go really threw me into the ground (or should i say bathroom floor). I told myself I wouldn’t do it (and kept close observation of my body, and saw my doctor enough so I didn’t need to). These two things were a huge game changer to my mindset. Plus the fact that I was so busy chasing after the twins, and preparing for a big move that I was healthily distracted!
So what was the process? It took 8 months from start to finish, as I needed to get my endometriosis under control with a surgery, then 2 month break, then months of hormones, drugs, and transfer prep. I’d say all the things felt much easier than last time, except for the drugs. Those hit me so much harder this time and made for a couple tough months. I was on a combination of multiple things but Lupron Depot really threw me over the edge (it’s a drug used for severely ill and/or chemo patients to shut down their systems, and while in no way am I comparing myself to them, just explaining how powerful the stuff is)! I was taking it to shut down my endometriosis, and I didn’t have to take it last cycle so I was completely blind sided by the side effects which basically left me in a ball in bed for a week (shame on me for not researching the stuff more). This is actually when I told my mom we were going for a third :) It was super anticlimactic. I think Hunter actually told her when he called her to come down because I just needed her by my side.
Anyhoo! Besides that tiny blip it was smooth sailing! Come mid/end of summer we started our trial cycles, and September is when we did the transfer! We wanted to stick to our LA doctor which meant driving back and forth from SD to LA a handful of times but to me that was just a few logistics worth figuring out! I had done the IVF process before, I knew what to expect and like I mentioned, my mindset and just genuine gratitude really kept me in check. I felt so positive in it all that there were moments I actually had to have a solo peptalk and remind myself it’s okay to be sad if it didn’t work out.
But it did. And here we are!
The craziest thing is that this little embryo is from the same batch of embryos Slater and Zoe were. And this little embryo is due on the same exact day Slater and Zoe were. It all just feels surreal, but also so meant to be.
This is the same journey to my children, just a different chapter. And I thank you for following along.
More details to come, but for now happy holidays!
