It’s been a while since I’ve updated you all on my pregnancy. First and second trimesters felt pretty standard but third sorta threw some curve balls. Gestational Diabetes was a surprise to me, bed rest is a recent development and then there’s that you know, global pandemic that’s hit us all. Since I’m sitting around on my bum these days I found a moment to write about it in hopes any of you experiencing same or similar feelings find some comfort. I also want to look back and remember for my own sake because I love digging up my archives and reading old posts on my pregnancy (and life) with the twins.
In terms of GD, when I was first diagnosed almost two months ago I felt too ashamed or embarrassed to share it with many people. And when I couldn’t get my blood sugar levels under control with diet changes alone like it seemed most mamas could, I felt like a failure to my baby. I was put on daily insulin shots for the rest of my pregnancy (given in the belly) with a dose that tripled within a week and literally felt like I was going to faint multiple times a day because my sugar and energy levels fluctuated so much the first few weeks. Plus aside from what felt like an all consuming daily routine of finger pricks, strict meal planning, injections and so on, I couldn’t stop worrying about the risks this brought on for my little guy (and my future health).
But I’m 33 weeks now, my glucose levels have steadied for the most part and hey I ain’t not stranger to shots! Neither pregnancy of mine has been “smooth” but A) I am equipped with a strong body and mind B) I am confident and I know baby and I will be just fine and C) This little obstacle is just part of baby’s and my journey.
It’s only a tiny blip but at the beginning it was hard for me to find other pregnant women experiencing the same, so if you or someone you know is going through something similar, please let them know they are not alone. It can be very overwhelming, especially when you have to get used to reading every food label to a T to try to figure out what you can and can’t eat (I had to say goodbye to all fruit, cereal, sweets, favorite carbs and eat mostly protein and healthy fat…precisely every 2 hours. It will be nice to hopefully start eating all these things again eventually!). If you are going through this though hear me mama, you got this!
Bed Rest is the latest development due to some cervix issues and excessive fluid around baby that increases chances of my water breaking (caused by GD). But I’m home rather than in the hospital and so very grateful for that! It’s only been a week so I’ll update you later on how it’s going but so far I just feel really lucky to be with my kids, even if it means no more walks, and much more cuddling on the couch.
Right now I am focusing on this little man growing inside of me, and my family one day at a time. Especially during this eerie time of COVID and quarantine, because that’s all we can do right? Of course I am terrified at all the what ifs that come with bringing a baby in the current world. I want my husband with me when I deliver. I want my mom down the hall. I want my extended family to visit rather than be isolated. But I have so much to be thankful for. This kid is a blessing in the first place. He will be born in a world of uncertainty. But this and everything about this pregnancy has been part of his special story.
I think the past month or so has revealed to me more than ever the beautiful life I live with little people who I am so fortunate to raise. I really wanted extra quality time with my twins before baby #3 came, and God sure delivered with this lockdown! We’ve gotten lots (and lots) of time together which I will forever cherish, and while we aren’t doing as many outside adventures anymore, I’m getting QT time with them in so many other ways that I never really did before (aka lots of movies, more movies, coloring and reading snuggled up together. We also break even more rules now and eat on the couch and I’m leaning into the crumbs and happy mess).
One last note mamas and friends, I just want to remind you that we all have our own lives, and challenges to deal with right now. What’s going on in our world only magnetizes the biggest (and littlest) of our issues. Health is number one of course but whatever it is you are going through, remember it matters, you matter. Somedays I wake up feeling the most positive person ever and other days I feel overwhelmed with sadness with our current climate. And that’s A-okay. We are all in this together right? So let’s make sure to support on another.
This bumpdate turned more into a ramble but I’m just sending so much love and positive light as we all (try to) navigate this uncharted territory.
